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[karlsefni]

"Fuck'm I s'sposed to do with th—krrttkkkckkskhkhhhhhhh"

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House 1464	Speed Dial
N/A aaaaaaaaall byyyyyyyyyy myseeeeeeeeeeeelf

Comments

[karlsefni]

You got a problem with flamingos?

[karlsefni]

[snorts] Maybe you shouldn't let yourself be so easy to tackle, huh?

[a beat.] Open the door.

[badbreak]

Huhn? Oh.

[HANGS UP]

[OPENS THE DOOR]

[covering... his balls... subtly]

Yo.

[badbreak]

No but I mean like. I dunno, it's startin' ta look like a weird grudge. A weird... flamingo grudge.

[karlsefni]

[yeah, just raising his eyebrows in greeting; his phone is in his hand, and over his shoulder is. . . .


a small-sized (in comparison to others) alligator.]

[karlsefni]

I brought back the snapping thing one time.

[badbreak]

[let's get right to it]

-- What the fucking shit is that a goddamn fuckin' gator.

[badbreak]

Gator. Are you huntin' gators again? You're gonna lose a fucking hand, man.

[karlsefni]

No.

[. . . .]

Yeah, maybe. That's what they're called?

[karlsefni]

No, birds. And like hell I am.

[badbreak]

No. Yes. I mean. Alligator. Or crocodile. I actually got no goddamn clue what the difference is an' did you kill that with your hands?

[badbreak]

You totally are. You're gonna end up bein' a one-handed freak. It'll be your jerk-off hand, too. You're gonna cry every day about it, wonderin' why you ain't just ordered take-out that fateful afternoon, why, god, why.

[karlsefni]

You think I can strangle this thing? [no, there is definitely a knife coming out of this alligator's skull—the sharp point of the knife is actually sticking out of the skull, instead of the hilt.

also, his left sleeve is totally ripped up.]

[karlsefni]

And I'm gonna remember the ass that told me this'd happen, and come over 'n take his hand, 'cuz he keeps telling me stupid shit.

[badbreak]

Man I dunno what the hell you can do, you're a total psycho.

[Badou's eye eventually tears away from the dead alligator that, yes, now he sees, certainly does have a knife through it's skull, and down to that arm]

...

[you know what let's have this conversation inside]

[moves to let him in]

Did he leave any teeth in ya?

[badbreak]

Hahaha. It's a warning! For your own good! One'a those cautionary things, like the don't-smoke-crack commercials.

[badbreak]

"Do you wanna end up blowin' rancid cocks for another bag of weed-drugs?"

[badbreak]

"Don't be wack. Don't do crack." Ahaha, or whatever. Somethin' like that anyway.

[karlsefni]

Best not to know. [i mean he could probably actually strangle an alligator if he really wanted to.]

[steppping inside, with a shrug] Nah. Couldn't pierce the skin, I stabbed 'm before then.

[badbreak]

Lemme see better, stop swingin' it around.

[pushes some shit off of the living room table onto the floor]

[here, here]

[karlsefni]

[so you mean

drop the gator on the living room table, right]

[badbreak]

[absolutely]

Holy shiiiiiit.

[karlsefni]

It's just a baby. [why are you so enthused by this.]

[karlsefni]

[... you lost me]

I don't need nothing for my own good, I know what's for my own good.

[badbreak]

Seriously? It's huge! The mom might take revenge. Animals are crazy fuckin' territorial...

[touching the alligator carefully, and then less carefully lol it's totally dead, looks inside its mouth]