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Entry tags:
memory 08.
Form: Candy apples the size of your thumbnail. (2/3 uses)
Regained: Day 254, Mira's game
It's noisy, as always. Fighting and drinking and laughing and all the stupid things that these stupid bastards do, every night after a raid. But this isn't just raid, apparently. At least, that's what Askeladd says.
"Men," he says loudly, smirking as he always does—that bastard—"Drink well and eat well, for tonight we feast with the food we took from this village. And tomorrow we'll feast again, with another village's spoils! Remember, men: This is just the first."
They cheer, but I stare at the drink in my hand. There's more wine here than there is mead. Something about Christians, I suppose. Old Leif, he drank wine too. He was Christian, too. But what's the point?
They're noisy again, Askeladd's said something about war. I don't care; what matters more to me than any sort of war is vengeance.
A girlish scream. I look up—it's the girl who's that woman's daughter. She's still alive.. but she won't be for long. She beats on the man whose shoulder she's on uselessly. They'll be taking her to an empty place, I know, and do whatever unsavory things they like with her. Humiliation and then death. Women get the worst from raids.
The old woman is dead. I know, they wouldn't let such an old woman live when there are plenty of young ones about. I don't care enough to look, so that's what I'll believe. She's dead.
Someone laughs, "Thorfinn! You gonna drink?" and someone else says, "Leave 'm alone, he's still just a brat," and the conversation goes on. They're too close, I can tell they're about to hit my back, like I'm their friend. Like I'm their comrade, someone they can joke around with. I can smell the drink from them.
I hate every one of them. I get up, and the cup hits the ground. Someone whines, I guess, because the wine's been wasted, and someone else asks where I'm going. Hah, like I'd tell them.
It's better in the forest, but more than that, it's better on the beach, in Father's ship. It's quiet, and I can hear the water sloshing gently against the langskip. It's cold, but it's not as cold as it is in Iceland. I don't even need a blanket. I'm alone now too, the watch for tonight is mine. That's the best, when I don't have to be anywhere near those bastards.
...
The old woman's face.. it's still ingrained in my mind.
If I had taken the drink... drink makes people do funny things, and remember nothing of it. Drink makes you forget.
But I can't forget, I can't forget. If I drink, then I'll forget tonight.. I'll forget today.. I might forget what I need to do.... and I can never forget that. I will never forget. What I need to do....
i'm sorry my writing is so bad
i'm sorry my headcanon is bad
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
Learned:
• feeling p detached like the end of this memory up until the end
• weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp old woman and her daughter...
• wow it sucks being a woman when you're a viking '-'a
• hissss i hate large groups of people
• hissssssssssssss i hate vikings
• alcohol is bad :( :( :(
• i can't forget!!!! and..then i did forget oops
Regained: Day 254, Mira's game
It's noisy, as always. Fighting and drinking and laughing and all the stupid things that these stupid bastards do, every night after a raid. But this isn't just raid, apparently. At least, that's what Askeladd says.
"Men," he says loudly, smirking as he always does—that bastard—"Drink well and eat well, for tonight we feast with the food we took from this village. And tomorrow we'll feast again, with another village's spoils! Remember, men: This is just the first."
They cheer, but I stare at the drink in my hand. There's more wine here than there is mead. Something about Christians, I suppose. Old Leif, he drank wine too. He was Christian, too. But what's the point?
They're noisy again, Askeladd's said something about war. I don't care; what matters more to me than any sort of war is vengeance.
A girlish scream. I look up—it's the girl who's that woman's daughter. She's still alive.. but she won't be for long. She beats on the man whose shoulder she's on uselessly. They'll be taking her to an empty place, I know, and do whatever unsavory things they like with her. Humiliation and then death. Women get the worst from raids.
The old woman is dead. I know, they wouldn't let such an old woman live when there are plenty of young ones about. I don't care enough to look, so that's what I'll believe. She's dead.
Someone laughs, "Thorfinn! You gonna drink?" and someone else says, "Leave 'm alone, he's still just a brat," and the conversation goes on. They're too close, I can tell they're about to hit my back, like I'm their friend. Like I'm their comrade, someone they can joke around with. I can smell the drink from them.
I hate every one of them. I get up, and the cup hits the ground. Someone whines, I guess, because the wine's been wasted, and someone else asks where I'm going. Hah, like I'd tell them.
It's better in the forest, but more than that, it's better on the beach, in Father's ship. It's quiet, and I can hear the water sloshing gently against the langskip. It's cold, but it's not as cold as it is in Iceland. I don't even need a blanket. I'm alone now too, the watch for tonight is mine. That's the best, when I don't have to be anywhere near those bastards.
...
The old woman's face.. it's still ingrained in my mind.
If I had taken the drink... drink makes people do funny things, and remember nothing of it. Drink makes you forget.
But I can't forget, I can't forget. If I drink, then I'll forget tonight.. I'll forget today.. I might forget what I need to do.... and I can never forget that. I will never forget. What I need to do....
i'm sorry my writing is so bad
i'm sorry my headcanon is bad
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
Learned:
• feeling p detached like the end of this memory up until the end
• weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp old woman and her daughter...
• wow it sucks being a woman when you're a viking '-'a
• hissss i hate large groups of people
• hissssssssssssss i hate vikings
• alcohol is bad :( :( :(
• i can't forget!!!! and..then i did forget oops